words of a sleep deprived mom

paisley i breastfed. im proud to say(type) this simple sentence. i wasnt able to breastfeed payten and to this day(a year later) i still regret that it never was able to happen.there is a new research study done that the longer youre able to breastfeed a baby the more connections in the brain are made making a smarter baby. i hope when paytens older she doesnt blame me for her math skills or that shes not able to speek chinese bc of this.lol i want to be able to breastfeed her as long as possible (atleast till age 1) if we go past that then great but i just might feel alittle akward with a 5 year old hanging on my breast in public loloh well she will be one smart baby if that happens ha ha. last night i found out the reason paisley grunts sooo much... she has gas and its bad! so luckly... i had gripe water i had boughten with payten but never opened. you have to mix it into a bottle and fed it to them so i measured it out pumped some milk and mixed it in happy i had figured it out and that the steps i had just taken would allow us all to get a better nights sleep grunt free. well  i found out something very important. my kid refuses a bottle... even a natural nipple alike one. i decided that when out in public i would first pump then fed her with a bottle ... well it looks like thats not going to happen now...or atleast untill i get her to take a bottle. i guess i will have to get over my fear of public  flashing lol its not so much me scared that someone will see something... its more that they will be offended by seeing something.so back to the problem of the grunting child... i decided to put into a baby medication despencer and drip it in while i breastfed her. after a half hour or burps etc she fell asleep. and for about 3 hrs slept with only a few small grunts! it worked and i slept good till she woke up to eat again... with more milk came more grunts. so i tried again. anyways long long story short was that last night was not fun and i stayed up with a gassy fussy baby sleeping in my arms peacefully while i couldnt sleep. oh well thats mommyhood. i say mommyhood bc the word mother seems too old to use right now... im only 23 im not 40 so mommyhood is what i will use till the word mother applys more to me in 10 or so years.