the living hell, i call my life...

yes the title is alittle... ok alot over exaggerating but if you know me that's how i am. dont like dont read.
so the last few months i have had to deal with some how do you say it but health problems nothing serious just little things leading to alittle bigger things which seem to never end. well tommorrow should if i am lucky as i call it and hope i am end everything. since we have been married i have had problems with my wisdom teeth they grew and came in and although it was some what painful, making me sick for a few days, it was nothing crazy i couldnt deal with. when we got married we didnt have dental and as of right now still do not so we just pay out of pocket, which we all know can add up,so we try to make as little trips as needed. am i a good writer? no thats why you will probably see a lot of run on sentences... so deal with it. this blog is for me to get out what i want to say not really for you. fair? probably not but i just dont care at the momment lol i was a STUPID 20 year old and didnt want puffy cheeks at my wedding so i didnt take my dad up on his offer to use his insurance while i still could. so 3 years later all my wisdom teeth are for the most part all grown in. one on the other had is grown in but there is not enough room for it to full come in... so infection comes knocking on my door and my face is the size of a beach ball and it is PAINFUL. so i suck it up and decided to go in and get it taken out. well the infection is so bad they have to do a kinda emergency extraction and get it out the next day. 6 shots to one gum later i still feel pain bc the infection just doesnt want to let the nice pain drugs do their job they finally get it numb and not two seconds later take the stinker out. damn you tooth. 300 dollars later i think my problem is over. then 3 weeks later i wind up with a sore throat... i think i am just sick but cant swallow and end up really weak and dehydrated to the er my sweet husband takes me. after 8 hours i think they can only tell me that i was dehydrated and my white blood cell count is extremely high so i have an infection but they dont exactly know where(great doctors huh?) send me home with a bunch of meds. not 5 hours later i wake up and my ears are feeling like water balloons that are being squeezed by some little punk dropping them out windows on to passer Byers heads. (wait didnt we do that in college? im not telling)  get a apt the day with the family doctor they say they dont really know either(you kidding me?) i get shots and steroids and who knows what else. i feel better within a few hours and almost no problems the next day still weak from everything a few weeks later but ill take that before dying. so i think its all over... wrong jamie you are not done with this crap crap crap! a few days ago my throat starts to hurt again. .... oh im just getting sick ....nope by the never few days i cant swallow like last time and i know its the same stupid thing not a few weeks later. i wake up chocking on my own spit and decided to call the doctor to get a apt. they luckly get me in and we fine out that they are pretty sure i have a
pharyngeal abscess.

A parapharyngeal abscess is a deep neck abscess treated with antibiotics and surgical drainage. The parapharyngeal (pharyngomaxillary) space is lateral to the superior pharyngeal constrictor and medial to the masseter muscle. This space connects to every other major fascial neck space and is divided into anterior and posterior compartments by the styloid process. The posterior compartment contains the carotid artery, internal jugular vein, and numerous nerves. Infections in the parapharyngeal space usually originate in the tonsils or pharynx, although local spread from odontogenic sources and lymph nodes may occur. Abscess swelling can compromise the airway. Posterior space abscess can erode into the carotid artery or cause septic thrombophlebitis of the internal jugular vein (Lemierre syndrome). Symptoms and Signs Most patients have fever, sore throat, odynophagia, and swelling in the neck down to the hyoid bone. Anterior space abscesses cause trismus and induration along the angle of the mandible, with medial bulging of the tonsil and lateral pharyngeal wall. Posterior space abscesses cause swelling that is more prominent in the posterior pharyngeal wall. Trismus is minimal. Posterior abscesses may involve structures within the carotid sheath, possibly causing rigors, high fever, bacteremia, neurologic deficits, and massive hemorrhage caused by carotid artery rupture. Diagnosis CT Diagnosis is suspected in patients with poorly defined deep neck infection or other typical symptoms and is confirmed by using contrast-enhanced CT. Treatment Broad-spectrum antibiotics (eg, ceftriaxone , clindamycin ) Surgical drainage Treatment may require airway control. Parenteral broad-spectrum antibiotics (eg,ceftriaxone , clindamycin ) and surgical drainage are generally needed. Posterior abscesses are drained externally through the submaxillary fossa. Anterior abscesses can often be drained through an intra-oral incision. Several days of parenteral culture-determined antibiotics are required after drainage, followed by 10 to 14 days of oral antibiotics. Occasionally, small abscesses can be treated with IV antibiotics alone. found this when i got home. we made an apt with a ears, nose and throat doctor in tucson az for tommorrow morning. i know its not a serious serious problem even though it is rare and am so excited to finally know why this is happening and that it can be fixed. the surgery is not crazy and should be in office. i would appreciate prayers anyways. i get nervous. thank you for listening to my crazy ramblings i needed to get this off my chest!

giveaway

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more like me

so ive lost 25 pounds ... dont ask what i weight bc i might slap you but maybe not as hard as i would have a few months ago lol having a baby puts alot of stress on your body and changes it in so many ways but having two in two years completlely thrown mine for a spin. i found out i was pregnant with paisley at the end of febuary of 2011. i had payten oct 9th 2010... i feel badily now bc i cant say i was excited like you should be when you get pregnant. i was a nervous reck. turns out i was like 8 weeks along and didnt even know i was pregnant. i found out with payten at bearly 4 weeks and was so excited. after finding out with paisley it took me about two weeks  to except it and then finially a few months in when i felt her kick for the first few times i was then excited. its not that i didnt want another baby... its just that i already felt OVERWHELMED having just payten. i dont know if anybody else is in the same boat as me out there and understand but my husband works ALOT. he has a great job we are lucky to have and im so proud and gratefull for what he does so i can raise our kids but its pretty much on me about 80 percent of the time. he helps when he is home and is a WONDERFUL dad dont get me wrong he just cant be here ALL the time to help me out. well with payten i gained oh lets say about 50 pounds... and with paisley i had not lost all the weight being it was only 3 months later i still had about 25 to go. with her i gained another i think 15. god blessed me that i was not sick during this pregnancy very much with payten i lived on the couch or the bathroom floor i throw up a few times an hour and on good days like twice a day. with paisley i throw up like 10 times in deleivery which was more then the times i had thrown up during all of pregnancy. well after paisley i breastfeed and lost all the weight from paytens pregnancy and paisley! go breastfeeding. well i had to stop bc of supply at around 4 months. i still had a lot of weight i needed to lose though so i tried dieting... i felt bad ALL the time. and just felt trapped i guess in the body i didnt feel was mine. i didnt like looking in the miror.i started a program and with help i have no lost 25 more pounds. i still have about 30/35 to go to get to my goal but im starting to feel more like well... ME! im happier finially after two years

stinky poo poo

its so fun having a toddler. she makes me smile and half crazed all at the same time. ive come to realize our house from now on will always be one big mess no matter how much i clean it. i clean up something she gets into something else i clean that up she gets into something else... its a circle. haha so ... More kids? one day... not right now i dont beleive i could handle it i mean i only have two hands in while is holding a baby the other is doing something else. payten is getting so big i cant even imagion her getting anymore grown up which will happen im just not ready for it. she randomly says and does stuff that im just laughing at all day... then think where the heck did that come from ive never done that. today it was wheewwww she ran up to me with no pants on and grapping at her diaper waving her hand infront of her nose says whewwww. i asked if she need her diaper changed .... she ran into her room and pointed to the wippy box she then layed down for me to change her... im just in amazment. i know every parents just thinks their kids are soooooo smart. i guess im just like everybody else then haha

what are you doing ??

i decided to start the hcg diet last week. so far so great im starting to feel more like myself. why would you do that some people probably think. well its pretty simple i have 50 pounds i need to lose i felt overwhelmed doing it by myself and needed help and my hormones are all messed up so this is kinda a last resort. i want to like what see in the miror.

it is what it is

days go by too fast

i remember our wedding day. i remember planning payten. i remember having her(and how much it hurt) then finding out i was pregnant with paisley. i remember having her... now payten is 16 months and paisley is 4 months... i cant stand it. they are growing up to fast. i remember with payten i wanted her to reach milestones so fast each on then the next. she rolled at 2 months. crawled at 6 and walked right before 10... too fast. she talks now, some words clearer then others. she gives paisley hugs and kisses and says HI SISSER! she will give her sips of her milk bottle. she will take wipes and try to wipe her face. i love my little helper. she started getting diapers for me to change her. i know potty training is around the corner which i same nervous for. not having her in diapers would financialy be great for us though having two in them now is expensive! paisley is getting big herself ive been having trouble breastfeeding(isnt that always the issue) but luckly with the great support of friends i talked myself into not giving up just yet. i bought a nice(way tooo expensive) pump and tommee tippee bottles because she had nipple confusion.working on my supply and breastfeeding her everyday/allday. but its worth it. i love the relationship i have with her because of it. i feel good about being able to feed my baby naturally. payten was formula fed because breastfeeding never worked with her. i dont know how long i will be able to feed paisley but its already better then i did with payten so maybe with my next it will be even longer and so on. lets hope for the best. this week has been problematic. we have had cows infest our property(we have 4 acres) there were atleast 30 all over our front yard one morning so my husband drove them away with his rino then a few days later they were back eating our(expensive) hay. if you have ever bought hay ... its not cheap! so we were naturally mad! we put up on old (large dog cage) around the big pile of hay so they couldnt get to it. our lab wasnt using it because he just stays anyways. well... at midnight the other day they were back... they woke us up hiding their horns against our house trying to eat some small weeds around it... there were a bunch around the hay and one had broken the door to the cage and stuck his head in there just eating away. we were soooo mad! our neighbors have contacted the lady whos cows they were and complained a MILLION times... but she STILL after months never came and rounded them up putting them back onto her property. my husband called and the next day there she was! i was getting ready for a baby shower and my husband was at work when i heard the dog bark and bark so i looked out the window... there was a beat up truck driving slowly around our house... not on our land... AROUND IN OUR BACK YARD! who the heck does that! i was pissed and wondered who the heck it was and what they heck they thought they were doing... so i walked out side after getting dressed and yelled "CAN I HELP YOU?" she explained who she was and that she was looking for her cows to round up. long story short my husband and the neighbor ended up rounding the cows up and fixing the ladys feence while she gave a million excuses of why they were out in the first place.(for months) no im sorry or anything for them eating a few hundred dollars worth of hay or waking us up at midnight when my husband has to go to work early in the morning. i swear some people dont give a crap about anybody else do they?

coupons coupons everywhere

coupon embarsments

I coupon. THERE i said it! i started couponing... and im alittle embaresed but ive save half of what i was spending on EVERYTHING now! it feels great and if i have to hold up a line for an extra 5 mins then oh well...if i have to spend an hour a week clipping and organizing and another hour making my lists then oh well. judge me. i DONT care anymore:) im proud of myself for saving money each month so i got myself a double jogging stroller with some of that money and we are saving money for a new car for our growing family. the other day i went to safeway and got 5 pom wonderful pom jucies and a box of ceral and paid only 75 cents:) i like that do you? lol i started stockpiling which if you dont know the lingo thats piling things up that you have bought couponing. i love the free stuff its my favorite and ya i dont need a million tooth pastes but what if something happened and we didnt have money we could live off the stockpile for awhile atleast or what if there was a disaster that happened and the stores were all closed .... well my family would have clean teeth while yours had bad breath. you can look at it however you would like but im excited to say i am not embaresed anymore of couponing. judge away people haha ps pictures to come of great couponing trips :)