more like me

so ive lost 25 pounds ... dont ask what i weight bc i might slap you but maybe not as hard as i would have a few months ago lol having a baby puts alot of stress on your body and changes it in so many ways but having two in two years completlely thrown mine for a spin. i found out i was pregnant with paisley at the end of febuary of 2011. i had payten oct 9th 2010... i feel badily now bc i cant say i was excited like you should be when you get pregnant. i was a nervous reck. turns out i was like 8 weeks along and didnt even know i was pregnant. i found out with payten at bearly 4 weeks and was so excited. after finding out with paisley it took me about two weeks  to except it and then finially a few months in when i felt her kick for the first few times i was then excited. its not that i didnt want another baby... its just that i already felt OVERWHELMED having just payten. i dont know if anybody else is in the same boat as me out there and understand but my husband works ALOT. he has a great job we are lucky to have and im so proud and gratefull for what he does so i can raise our kids but its pretty much on me about 80 percent of the time. he helps when he is home and is a WONDERFUL dad dont get me wrong he just cant be here ALL the time to help me out. well with payten i gained oh lets say about 50 pounds... and with paisley i had not lost all the weight being it was only 3 months later i still had about 25 to go. with her i gained another i think 15. god blessed me that i was not sick during this pregnancy very much with payten i lived on the couch or the bathroom floor i throw up a few times an hour and on good days like twice a day. with paisley i throw up like 10 times in deleivery which was more then the times i had thrown up during all of pregnancy. well after paisley i breastfeed and lost all the weight from paytens pregnancy and paisley! go breastfeeding. well i had to stop bc of supply at around 4 months. i still had a lot of weight i needed to lose though so i tried dieting... i felt bad ALL the time. and just felt trapped i guess in the body i didnt feel was mine. i didnt like looking in the miror.i started a program and with help i have no lost 25 more pounds. i still have about 30/35 to go to get to my goal but im starting to feel more like well... ME! im happier finially after two years